Controversy arises over same-sex relationship books read to MHLT third-graders

Parents of third-grade students in the Minocqua-Hazelhurst-Lake Tomahawk (MHLT) school district contacted The Lakeland Times after discovering that two books addressing same-sex relationships were read to their children.

The two books, “Prince & Knight” and “Maiden & Princess,” were read to students by teacher Karen Stinemates on Friday, May 31, during a read-aloud portion of class, according to the parents. 

After learning about what happened, some parents, who the Times will not name in order to protect the identities of students, met with the district’s administration and Stinemates. 

Principal Betsy Gruszynski and Stinemates, the Times was told, contended the books were part of a learning objective focused on family-dynamics. 

District administrator Dr. Jim Ellis reportedly expressed disagreement with Gruszynski and Stinemates in meetings with parents, indicating that he felt the books were not suitable for third-grade students. He maintained this position when he spoke with the Times early last week.

One parent said they asked their child about the read-aloud after learning about the books’ subject matter from another parent with a child in the class. 

The parent said their student started crying when they questioned them about what was read “because of fear … of getting in trouble with the teacher.”

The parent said they didn’t think Stinemates would have told students not to tell parents about what was read, “but it’s just the … it’s the nature of that classroom that she has created over the course of the year.”

“These kids are, they’re terrified of this teacher because if they ask to go to the bathroom, their recess is taken away from them, (or) if the teacher hears from one of the parents because we’re concerned on grades, she yells at the student for that,” the parent said. “(Our child) broke down. (They) told us what these books were about and then we kind of let it be that night because (they were) very upset and it was bedtime.”

“Sexual indoctrination” was how the parent described the readings of “Prince & Knight” and “Maiden & Princess.”

“(The books) have absolutely nothing to do with family units, it is completely to do with gay-marriage,” the parent said. “I … have nothing against that, but it should have been a conversation that we had as a family, not something that should be taught in school.”

The parent said when they were in third-grade, they were “building forts outside at recess and hunting, fishing.”

“That’s what we were doing in third-grade,” the parent said. “We weren’t learning about same-sex (relationships) and how it’s OK to marry your friend who’s another boy. You know, that’s not what should be on third-graders’ minds; who we can and can’t marry.”

Another parent said their spouse told them their child read about “gay marriage in class today.”

“(My spouse) was kind of confused and kind of upset with what they were learning,” the parent said. 

The parent said they didn’t think the books dealt with family dynamics at all. 

“And I was shocked to learn that my third-grader … was learning about same-sex marriage,” the parent said.

Like the other parent who spoke with the Times, this parent said as well that they felt Gruszynski and Stinemates lied to them with regard to what exactly was being taught. 

The parent said they were more frustrated with feeling like they were lied to about the books’ subject matter than the actual subject matter of the books. 

“I just think that at a third-grade level, that is absurd to be teaching those kids about that,” the parent said. “Honestly, I don’t remember third-grade too much, but I’d be learning cursive, mathematics, social studies, sciences, stuff like that. Books about history, books about … just general knowledge … nothing to do with same-sex marriage or even marriage specifically … fairy tales, but nothing like this.”

A third parent who spoke with the Times said they were thankful their student isn’t in Stinemates class. They added, as a veteran, they didn’t think books like “Prince & Knight” or “Maiden & Princess” had any place in the state’s public school system, a system which is fueled by taxpayer dollars.

About the books

The “Prince & Knight” was written by Daniel Haack and illustrated by Stevie Lewis. It was published by Little Bee Books in 2020 and distributed by Simon & Schuster. 

The “Maiden and Princess” was written by Daniel Haack and Isabel Galupo and illustrated by Becca Human. It was also published by Little Bee Books a year earlier, in 2019, and distributed by Simon & Schuster. 

The “Maiden and Princess” was written by Daniel Haack and Isabel Galup and illustrated by Becca Human. It was published by Little Bee Books in 2019 and distributed by Simon & Schuster.
(Image courtesy of simonandschuster.com)The “Prince & Knight” follows the story of a prince whose parents attempt to assist him in finding true love. Meanwhile, the kingdom is attacked by a dragon and the prince works to defeat the beast. He gets help from an armored knight, who he eventually falls for. The prince’s parents are accepting of the relationship. 

In the “Maiden & Princess,” a maiden, who prefers to wield a sword and participate in battles, is invited with the other girls of the kingdom to attend a royal ball where a prince is looking for a partner. The maiden seems to be favored by the prince, but she rejects his advances and ends up falling for his sister, the princess. The book is similar to the “Prince & Knight,” in that the parents of the princess are accepting of the same-sex relationship as well. 

In both stories, the characters are illustrated to closely embrace one another. However, unlike the “Prince & Knight,” a kiss is illustrated and written about in the “Maiden & Princess.”

“Kids need to be prepared to navigate and succeed in a complex and diverse world, and growing up on a dairy farm in the great state of Wisconsin, I benefited from an amazing public school education that did just that by opening my eyes to different cultures, values and beliefs while underscoring our common humanity,” Haack, the author of the books, said in an email to the Times on Thursday, June 6. “At their core, my books like ‘Prince & Knight’ are chaste little adventure stories that just so happen to also reflect the reality of millions of families around the world.” 

The district’s response

Speaking to the Times on Monday, June 3, Ellis said he thinks the books contain “sensitive subject matter” that isn’t “age-appropriate” for third-graders. 

He indicated the situation escalated quickly, noting the books were read to students on Friday, May 31, and parents attempted to reach district administrators over the weekend.

“I think what this is going to do … for us is to make sure that if it’s a sensitive topic, that teachers need to let parents know (in advance),” Ellis said. “I think that’s going to help too because a lot of families would discuss it or opt out if they feel like it’s not something they want their child to hear.”

He said the administration has had discussions with Stinemates and will continue to talk with her. In an unrelated event on Monday, June 3, Ellis noted Stinemates sustained an injury at work and had to leave. Though, he said, she was part of the meeting with parents that day and was scheduled to be part of a meeting with parents on Tuesday, June 4. 

On Tuesday, June 4, the Times sought clarification from Ellis about whether the books were part of the class curriculum. He said they were not.

“And after I found out, I do not approve it,” he said. “And I think what we’re going to do moving forward is for any read-aloud books … (of) sensitive nature, that we let parents know what we’re reading at all grade levels. But I did not (know) and they were definitely not age-appropriate at all.”

Stinemates, Ellis said, indicated to him the books were related to the learning objective of family units, however, he said he didn’t feel they were.

MHLT board of education president Christy Seidel said she had been made aware of the situation prior to the Times contacting her on Thursday, June 6. 

“We are still investigating it so I don’t want to make any comments beyond that right now,” she said. 

Seidel said there was a parent who requested the situation be on a future board meeting agenda. 

“How it will be on the agenda, I am not sure yet,” she said. “I haven’t had that part of the conversation with Jim.”

Even though the situation may be on a future board meeting agenda, Seidel pointed out members of the public who wish to comment on the matter may do so in the public comment portion of the meeting and not during the board’s discussion of it, which typically happens later in the meeting. 

Board member Tracy Petrie said she’s aware of the situation and it concerns her. 

“We know we’re going to have to do something with it,” she said. “On a personal level, I’m sad and ... I just hope that parents know that it’s something the board does take seriously and that we will address (it).”

“As I understand it, this will be on the agenda for the next Board meeting,” board vice-president Jay Christgau told the Times in a June 9 email. “I am concerned.”

The meeting board members will likely discuss this situation is scheduled for the morning of Monday, June 17. 

Gruszynski and Stinemates did not respond to the Times’ request for comment as of press time Wednesday, June 12. 

Solutions?

The first parent who spoke to the Times said they think a reasonable solution for situations like this would be the school district leaving discussions of this nature up to the families themselves. If teachers are interested in touching on topics as touchy as same-sex relationships at a third-grade level, they indicated, parents should at least be notified or their permission be given prior to those topics being brought up in a classroom. 

The second parent who spoke with the Times indicated the same sentiment. They added they believe sensitive topics like this would be better suited for older high school students and an option to opt-in or opt-out still be offered. 

“Not in middle school … not K-8,” they said. “I think that it should be directly (left up) to the parents.”

The latest edition of the state Department of Public Instruction’s (DPI) Human Growth and Development (HGD) resource guide was published in 2014. The 424-page document is listed on the DPI’s website to “assist school districts in policy, program development, and implementation” related to HGD.

Ellis indicated this document would be a good resource for not just educational professionals and officials, but also parents looking for more information about these types of “sensitive” topics.

Although, he said his biggest recommendation for parents concerned about what’s being taught, or any other issues they may have with a particular teacher, is to always contact that teacher first.

Trevor Greene may be reached via email at [email protected].