It takes a village

Nationally recognized speaker JC Pohl, a licensed marriage and family therapist who travels the country speaking to students about resilience, visited Rhinelander last week at the invitation of the School District of Rhinelander. 

Pohl addressed parents as part of an evening presentation last Wednesday on nurturing relationships with adolescents.

On Thursday, Pohl spoke to groups of students and worked with a smaller group as part of a leadership workshop. 

Through Pohl’s presentation, students gained personal insight and worked with peers to offer solutions to common struggles experienced at school. 

A common thread Pohl identified among both teenagers and adults was relationships. As social beings, we naturally seek social interactions and connection, he noted.

Pohl reminded each individual how important the power of their presence is in generating these human interactions. 

While the term “it takes a village to raise a child,” might be considered a cliché by some, Pohl challenged each person to remember we are all part of building resilient students in the community. Any person working with a student during their adolescent years can generate a significant connection in their lives when seeking out healthy relationships. 

“Healthy relationships are what kids are looking for,” Pohl said, after sharing a film where a young girl shared that “[She is] always looking for [her] mom in other people.” She shares a universal struggle among all students and people: relational pressures. 

Pressure at home and with peers forces students to “look to the school to find those connections that they are missing elsewhere,” Pohl explained. 

What we often do not realize is that they have the answers. 

Films that Pohl put together gave teens the opportunity to talk. Pohl also reminded the adults that, “[teens] have the answers and we need to support them and help them find their voice.”

A small group of RHS students had the opportunity to use their voices and come up with answers to improve school culture Thursday while working with Pohl as part of the leadership workshop.

Ellyse Younker was one of the students who took part in the workshop activities.

“It was different because he made the topic relatable by sharing what other students’ experiences have been like in leadership and how it impacted them,” she shared.

“We were encouraged to be proactive in finding solutions to problems and pressures we have with academics and relationships,” she added. 

A few favorite solutions included saving banked snow days to have a school-wide mental health day or a mid-year club recruitment day to give students an opportunity to join clubs mid-year if they wish.

Student Brody Kowieski also shared personal insights on how to help combat isolation. 

“We need to focus on what we can do together,” he said. “We can talk about the problem, help find a solution and then expose the solution.” 

In student-led groups, the conversation around problems generated an incredible list of ideas on how to be proactive. 

Kowieski explained how the presentation was unique compared to other experiences. 

“[Pohl] promoted a call to action, which is something different,” he said. “He didn’t come in talking about his story or ideas. He called us to action.” 

Younker and Kowieski were among the group who generated a list of proactive solutions. In working on these solutions together, both shared similar reflections. They were chosen to join in the breakout sessions due to their involvement in extra-curricular activities and strong character as noted by their teachers.

The students each shared passion they have to help improve the community. As leaders, both were acutely aware of how important it is to create a good system in the community for others to connect with. 

Pohl’s message to both parents and students encouraged them to “look at the system.” Especially for parents who struggle with the agony of trying to find a way in to their kids’ lives, it becomes especially important to make sure that “[parents] are putting their child in a position to meet charismatic adults,” Pohl noted.

We never know when a simple gesture or comment that we make might have a tremendous effect on someone. Rhinelander is lucky to have individuals who are vested in the roots of the community working to create a place where healthy relationships can be fostered and supported. 

Pohl noted that everyone has the power to live in the solution and make a difference in someone’s day through connection.

“Connection helps overcome adversity and lead us in solution-based thinking,” he said. “We can all go to the bad or ugly, but the relationships in our lives pull us back to the good.”

In reflecting on the day, Younker noted she learned that “the individual has to take it upon themselves to get involved, but encouragement can help.”

“We are all one community inviting people to share experiences,” Kowieski concluded.