Northwoods Recovery

“It’s another beautiful day in the Northwoods.”

Almost daily, I catch myself repeating this on my Hodag Park walkarounds; a regular greeting to other early risers. Although likely understood as a reference to our quickly passing summer weather — and it is, in contrast to how dismally the rest of the country’s been faring — from me carries much deeper meaning. Today’s sunrise is witness to this promise; clean and sober, I will be having another beautiful day. Rain-jacket weather conditions notwithstanding, in recovery, every Northwoods morning signals another beautiful day.

Those of us who by some miracle managed to survive years — in my case, decades — stumbling blindly through a life awash in the misery of drug addiction will have no trouble understanding. Each new day is another blessing, thanks to recovery. 

Another cause for gratitude.

Compare that to how my bad old addiction days usually began; hungover, dopesick, sometimes trying — and failing — to recall how I made it home. Slamming room-temperature beer leftover from last night, desperately hoping some hair of the dog will help me feel slightly less awful. Or even more pathetic, coming to in a holding cell, regaining consciousness wretchedly contemplating a whole new plateful of legal woes, dolefully speculating “What will my latest trouble cost this time?” 

Never expecting life to ever get any better. Bad days are as good as it gets. And likely worse is in store.

Years of daily consumption of toxic substances — often in lethal combinations — has taken a heavy physical toll, as it does on every long-term addict. But through recovery I’ve learned to feel gratitude even for this persistent residue of addiction; painful gastric issues and troubling cognitive loss serve as a reminder; I’ve survived what so many of my peers have not. Days now pass in bemused astonishment that I’m still around at all.

So yes, I’m having another beautiful day in the Northwoods, despite the considerable annoyance of deer eating my all flowers. I can’t say I'm feeling any gratitude toward them!

I’ll expect a good slap — metaphorically speaking, of course — from my support group should I ever fail to manifest a grateful attitude for every beautiful day I’m living here in the Northwoods. If not for the blessings of sobriety, of recovery, I’d have missed them all. And without sobriety to guide me, never would have encountered the epiphany of discovering for myself that we do recover.

Do you think you may have a problem with alcohol? Alcoholics Anonymous can help. Call our Hotline at 715-360-4637 or visit  www.northwoodsaa.org for questions or to find a meeting in your area.