October 6, 2022 at 11:20 a.m.
Northwoods Recovery: Finding relief from addiction in the Northwoods
Northwoods Recovery: Finding relief from addiction in the Northwoods
By Jeff Frye-
"I am a drug addict."
Finally admitting to that truth after more than 40 years of drug addiction - saying it out loud - was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'd been committed to the psych ward, following what should have been a successful suicide attempt. I had swallowed 150 prescription pills - easily enough to end my life, I was certain - as a way out of facing the consequences of multiple felony drug charges. Besides losing my job and my home, I was looking at 20 years in prison as a repeat offender.
I had been clinically dead for hours. Arriving at the hospital psych ward, I was subjected to half-hour blood draws, since my kidneys had shut down in response to that massive overdose. Floating in and out of consciousness, I decided in a life filled with bad days, this was the worst. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, because it was Day One of my recovery.
That was 14 years ago, but the memory remains fresh. I want it to be. Writing and lecturing, sharing the hope recovery can bring to the hopeless, is my way of keeping alive that miracle moment when I knew I'd survived the insanity of addiction, of suicide, for a real purpose. Higher purpose.
A godsend, after a lifetime whose only purpose was consuming ever-growing amounts of drugs. Feeding demons that were never satisfied. Stumbling stupified through a life without any real direction. Wishing and hoping for an end to the madness, for death; too wasted to comprehend that, spiritually, I had already killed myself.
Alive now and grateful to be; every day, every moment a gift, a blessing to be living the miracle of recovery. My friends and companions on this journey know the same gratitude; grateful to be sharing this miracle.
Six months into recovery I posted online:
"What is the greater miracle? Surviving what should have been a fatal overdose? Or that I can now live and enjoy life without using drugs, without needing or wanting to use drugs." Addicts, recovering or not, know the answer.
Beginning each day walking in Hodag Park is a reminder that Rhinelander, the community I call home, is also home to a recovery culture that is my absolutely vital support group.
Today, I'm grateful to be recovering from addiction in the Northwoods, because here we do recover.
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