December 15, 2014 at 4:29 p.m.
Comfort and joy: Special memorial service provides solace to grieving families during the holiday season
Comfort and joy: Special memorial service provides solace to grieving families during the holiday season
Thus he began hosting an annual memorial service to support members of the community who have lost a loved one, especially during the past year.
"That's why we do this," Carlson told the crowd for the 2014 service Saturday. "Our (holidays) were tough and we know yours (are) going to be tough, too, but anything we can do today, through this, to help you a little bit, to help you get it out of your system maybe a little bit today (we want to do), so that all of you might be able to, at least somewhat, have a nice Christmas."
"I know that may not happen this year and it may not happen next year, but it is going to happen," he added. "This today, hopefully, is at least a step in that direction for everyone."
Carlson invited the Reverends Rod Ankrom and Norm Peterson to preside over the ceremony. It was Ankrom that took on the homily duties this year, telling the crowd that no matter how much pain they may be feeling now, it will pass and things will get better.
"That's why most of us are here this afternoon - there'll be someone missing this year for Christmas," he said. "Because of this, you may be saying there can never be a perfect Christmas again ... but it will get better. You will heal. And it's this fellowship that will help get you there."
"Remind yourself - several times daily if necessary - that celebrating Christmas is not about the search for perfection. It's not about presents or family gatherings or a big meal or decorations," he added.
"Too often we get caught up in all the extra stuff ... (and) Jesus sort of gets lost in the process, even for Christians ... but the more I think about Jesus around Christmas, the less important all the Christmas trappings become," he said.
The most powerful message delivered Saturday came from two special guests - Kirby and Shelby Kuehn.
The siblings were co-winners of the poetry contest held annually in conjunction with the memorial service. The Kuehns brought something even more valuable than their poems Saturday though. They shared the lessons they've learned as they have coped with the loss of their mother.
After reading their powerful poems, the siblings offered advice to those whose hearts are sore with grief this holiday season.
"After our mother died, it was extremely hard and we found that nothing could seem to fill her place and make you feel better, but the thing that helped us through it the most was, for one, our family," Kirby said. "I had a great sister and father and grandparents and they all helped us through it. Especially my sister, just being there for each other and always watching out for each other. That really helped me through it, so find someone that loves and cares about you because that's really special."
"It seemed like time always seemed to make it better. You felt like, at first, nothing in the world could fix it and everything hurt, but over time, all the memories and the death and the sadness and the hurt seemed to just go away because when you're done focusing on the bad, you remember the good and all the good memories," he added.
"You wonder why you're focusing on all the bad feelings when there's so much happiness to remember. (My mother) wouldn't want me to be sad and lonely and miserable. (She'd) want me to be focused on all the good things and all the happy memories (I) had with them."
Shelby echoed her brother's thoughts.
"Be open to different family members - extended family and close family. That really helped us. Just being open to talking and being open to hear what they have to say really helped me get through it," Shelby said.
"Also, finding out things we didn't know about the person. We found out different things about when our mother was young, so asking our grandparents or my dad things that my mother did when she was young, or the type of person she was, all that helped us learn about her and get through it as well."
In the end, Kirby said it isn't just about getting through the holidays or the person's birthday or the anniversary of a person's death. It's about living each day to the fullest and remembering your loved ones each and every day.
"One thing I have learned is that one day shouldn't encompass everything that you loved and cared about this person," he said.
"You should remember them every day for who they were and what they did."
Marcus Nesemann may be reached at [email protected].
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