April 25, 2014 at 12:09 p.m.
On eve of prom, RHS students hear presentation on consequences of making poor decisions
On eve of prom, RHS students hear presentation on consequences of making poor decisions
That was the message imparted to Rhinelander High School juniors and seniors Thursday by members of a special Victim Impact Panel assembled by the Northwoods Restorative Justice program.
Bruce LaRose of the justice program, and three other presenters, spoke to students a few days before prom to remind them that good choices beget good memories while bad choices can lead to nightmares that can never be forgotten.
"The prom and the summer and all of the activities bring a great deal of opportunity for experiences, but a lot of memories - memories from what you do on prom night or at graduation or whatever you do during the summer - those memories are driven by the choices or decisions that you make in life," LaRose said.
"The choices we make - good, bad or indifferent - can very much live with us for our entire life, so what we're trying to do today is to reflect, to think, to consider the whole issue of making good choices so that the memories you do have in life are very good, positive and rewarding memories."
Simply making a choice is easy, LaRose said. Making the right choice is a completely different ball game. Knowing that the result of a choice can affect the world around you can raise the stakes even more, he added.
"The choices we make are many times irreversible. The decisions we make, the activities we engage in, sometimes are not reversible and we may have to live with those choices for the rest of our lives. That's a very difficult thing," he said.
"Making decisions is easy. We do it every day. But, making choices and decisions that stand the test of time is the real challenge."
Part of the challenge is getting the notion of "it can't happen to me" out of your mind, LaRose said. Anything can happen to anyone at anytime.
"We think to ourselves sometimes, we think it can't happen to me. It happens to other people. It won't happen to me. I'm invincible," he said. "That's a mistake. There's not anyone in this room at anytime that's not vulnerable to making a particular choice and having to live with the consequences of that choice for the rest of their life."
No matter how hard they may try to take the right path, LaRose told the students, a poor choice can be made at any time. Those poor choices can lead to adversity. Adversity isn't something people enjoy going through, but with adversity comes opportunity, he said.
"I do believe in my heart that with every adversity comes opportunity, and the people that are here speaking today, despite their adversity and the challenges that they've had in their lives, the disability that perhaps they incurred, really that adversity becomes an opportunity for you today," LaRose said before introducing the trio of presenters.
First to speak was Jason Breitenfeld who was severely injured when a drunk driver crossed the center line and collided with the taxi he was using to give others a safe ride home.
The accident left him disabled and facing multiple surgeries on the lower half of his body. Breitenfeld said he wanted the students to understand that life can change in an instant and that thinking nothing will ever happen to you is a surefire way to be proven wrong.
Over a year ago, Breitenfeld was driving his taxi as part of a safe ride home program. It was snowing, the road conditions weren't great, but he said he wasn't worried. He figured since he was doing something good, nothing bad could happen to him.
"Prior to my accident, I thought I'm taking enough impaired drivers off the road, it can't happen to me. But, back on Jan. 20 of last year, in the blink of an eye, that whole attitude changed," he said.
"A drunk driver came across the center line and hit me head-on. I still think about it today, about how fast it happened. ... I can't tell you about it from my own memory because from the moment of impact I have no memories of what happened until about three weeks into my hospital stay."
Breitenfeld described the scene as it was described to him. It took two fire departments almost two hours to cut him out of his vehicle. The dashboard was "wrapped around" his chest. His left leg was hanging from "two inches of skin."
"They thought I was a dead man," he said.
But, after multiple surgeries and with the support of a loving family, Breitenfeld lived. His leg is still in very bad shape and he has more surgeries in his future, but he said he participates in these programs to help students understand the consequences of the decisions they make. He said he's realistic about things like prom. He was young once, he knows the temptations students face on nights such as prom night, but he implored the young people not to get behind the wheel if they do decide to drink.
"With prom and graduation coming up, I don't want you guys to think I don't want you to have a good time. Have a great time. These are once-in-a-lifetime events. I've been there. I remember my proms and graduations. I drank, I had fun, but don't, whatever you do, do not get behind the wheel after even one drink," Breitenfeld said.
"The opening picture of my slide show is a picture of my entire family. The reason why that is, is the same reason why I beg you not to get behind the wheel after even one drink. You're not just affecting yourself or the person that you hit, your entire family, your friends, your classmates, your community - it affects them all."
The other two presenters - Jeannine Thiel and Steve Gwiazda - had a similar message for the students, though it came from the other side of the coin. Both have killed someone while driving drunk.
On April 17, 2007, Gwiazda was drunk when he rolled his car, killing his best friend.
"I'm here to talk to you today about choices and tell you about some of the choices I made in the past and hope that you guys don't make the same choices and end up like me," Gwiazda said.
"We were out drinking and I thought I was OK, that it couldn't happen to me. I had three drinks. My blood alcohol level was 0.097 and I rolled my car going around a corner (and my friend died)."
Gwiazda said he remembers his prom and the temptations that come with it. He echoed what Breitenfeld said, telling the students to have fun, but make the right choice when it comes to drinking and driving.
"I sit back and look at that day and think about what I could have done differently," he said.
"When I talk to you guys, I know you have prom coming up. I don't expect anybody not to drink. I did when I was a kid, too, but if I can keep you guys from getting behind the wheel of a car, that's my goal, so you don't end up like me with a 12-year sentence. ... Please don't get behind the wheel of a car. Stop and think about what you're doing."
Thiel shared similar sentiments. She also killed a person by driving drunk, a fact she has to live with every day. It's something she said she hopes others will never experience.
"When it came to prom, I drank too. I don't know if you guys are going to drink or not, but for me, it wasn't worth it because it progressed into a severe bad habit for me," she said. "If you're going to drink, give someone your keys. Choice is the greatest power God gave you. You're responsible to become all God made you to be, not only for you own benefit, but for everyone's."
Once the presentation was over, Principal David Ditzler spoke to his student body. He said he was speaking as a principal and a father.
"Only one of you shares my DNA and my name, but I have to tell you, each morning when I wake up, I come here and I care about each one of you in a similar way to my own daughter. I do a lot of what I do with my principal hat on, but there are so many times that my daddy hat is right on my head as well," he said. "I have learned to live a life of having absolute joy and lots and lots of fun clean, absolutely clean. I wish for all of you that you will choose to do the same. ... I am looking forward to a fun prom this weekend, seeing you guys dressing up just having a ball, and I'm looking forward to everybody being safe and coming back Monday."
Marcus Nesemann may be reached at [email protected].
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