August 18, 2017 at 4:24 p.m.
Social media brings extended family together
Social media brings extended family together
By Kayla Thomason-
Martin welcomed her nephews Eugene Wolf and Andrew Wolf, and niece Teresa Zavala, with whom she has just recently become acquainted, to her Northwoods cottage to share stories and help put the pieces of the family puzzle together. Her nephews and niece are all nearly 60 years old.
Eugene Wolf is the oldest of these Wolf siblings.
His father, Charles, was a Marine. Eugene's mother was from Tennessee but was working in a plant in North Carolina when she met Charles. Eugene was born in June 1954 and that October the family moved to Weyauwega. The move didn't work out and they eventually went back to Tennessee.
When Eugene was 9 months old, Charles left and went to California where his sister, June, was living. As a result, Eugene didn't know his father or much about the paternal side of his family.
In 1975, at the urging of his maternal grandmother who raised him, Eugene went to Weyauwega to meet his paternal grandmother, Mabel Wolf.
"I knocked on her door on Halloween night, 10:30 p.m. She was 85 years old. She said 'I thought you were a spook' and I said 'You don't know the half, I'm your grandson,'" Eugene explained.
She welcomed him in and they talked. He heard some family stories and obtained his father's contact information. Later, he wrote to his father but received no response.
Teresa and Andrew's story
After leaving Eugene and his mother, Charles moved to California where he met Theresa and Andrew's mother.
Unfortunately, this relationship did not last. Charles left when Teresa was around 2 years old and Andrew was about 9 months old.
Meanwhile, Martin was aware that her brother had children in California, but she didn't have names or addresses.
Hohn Wolf
Hohn Wolf is the youngest of the Wolf siblings and the one who spent the longest time with their father.
Charles never told Hohn that he had siblings. According to the family, he didn't learn about his brother and sister until genealogy books were handed out at a family reunion. He is not currently in touch with the rest of the family.
Eugene and Mary reunite
A popular genealogy-related website helped bring Eugene and his aunt, Mary Martin, together.
In 2011 Eugene's friend, Everett Searcy of Virginia, visited "Find a Grave.com." He found Charles Wolf's grave page and discovered that Wolf had a sister, Mary Martin, and two brothers still living.
"He (Everett Searcy) wrote to aunt Mary and said 'I don't know if you are aware of it but you have a nephew at the Barter Theatre in Abingdon, Virginia and if you would like to write to him here is an address,'" Eugene said. "So on Father's Day 2011, I received a phone call from my friend, Everett, that said 'I don't know if you care or not but I told your aunt Mary that you are living, you have an aunt Mary.' I said 'Oh, OK,' and he said 'I think she wrote you something.'"
That day he went to the Barter Inn to get mail and discovered a huge packet of photographs, papers and "a beautiful" letter from Martin.
Eugene immediately wrote back and they have remained in contact ever since.
"I always tell him, 'You had me right away,'" Martin said with a smile. "He said 'My dear aunt Mary' and I thought 'I'm going to like that kid.'"
Eugene worked at the theatre for 20 years, directing plays and performing in them. It was at the Barter Theater in 2012 that Martin and her husband, Chuck, first met Eugene in person. Eugene was directing "Swamp Gas and Shallow Feelings," a musical comedy.
The main character was a faded country star. The woman cast to play the role broke her wrist in the second performance and they had to find someone to fill in.
"Nobody knew the role except for the director," Andrew said, adding that Eugene eventually agreed to play the role.
"So this is the show they got to see, so we brought aunt Mary and uncle Chuck to the theatre and they're sitting there, watching, watching, watching and I come up. I have been on stage for a while and uncle Chuck says to aunt Mary 'When's our nephew, Eugene, come on?' and she says 'That's him,'" Eugene said.
"I just loved it, I've always been interested in plays," Martin said.
Two go on a search
"None of us ever knew our dad and for years I looked for him off and on through the internet especially," Zavala said. "My mother had his age wrong because he lied about his age and so I could never find anything out about him."
One day, at the end of April 2016, a page popped up while she was on the internet called "Find a Grave." Through the site she located her father's parents and a list of other relatives.
She sent it to her brother, Andrew. After Andrew received the link from his sister, he called the newspaper in Elko, Nevada, where their father had died. Within two hours they received his obituary, which listed Eugene and Hohn as their siblings.
"At that point I went on Facebook looking for a Eugene Wolf," Andrew said.
He found two profiles for Eugene, one was his personal account and the other was his musician/actor account.
"I contacted him and the first thing I sent him was 'My name is Andrew Wolf and I have a sister named Teresa, and we believe that our father is Charles Edward Wolf and would you by chance be related to him?'" Andrew recalled.
About eight hours later, Andrew received a response from Eugene confirming their relationship.
Shortly thereafter they exchanged phone numbers. Eugene told Andrew that their aunt Mary (Martin) was having a family reunion in her hometown of Corwith, Iowa, and she wanted to know if Andrew and Teresa would like to come to meet the rest of the family, which includes about 40 cousins.
It wasn't until after Andrew and Teresa made contact with Eugene that Martin was able to make contact with her niece and nephew.
"I called her up and I said 'Teresa?' and she said 'Yes?' like I was a robo call or something, and I said 'This is your aunt Mary,' dead silence and it sounded like she was crying and she was talking to me and we talked for a long time," Martin said.
"And she said 'We always knew about you but we didn't know your names,'" Teresa added.
Eugene feels blessed to have more family and to be able to spend holidays with them.
"We were lucky enough to find each other and I went to Alabama where Andrew and his wife, Kay, and family live, for Christmas," Eugene said with a big grin.
In a short period he also acquired some new titles.
"I became an uncle and a great-uncle within a six-month period," he said.
Reunions
The first family reunion was held July 17, 2016, in Corwith, Iowa.
"We met 13-14 first-cousins out of 40 who had all come to the reunion and we've stayed in touch," Eugene said. "As it turns out we like each other."
He thinks it's interesting to meet cousins and see physical similarities.
"It's so wonderful to me to know that on this earth I have these people who I'm connected to, so even if you're not around them you're not alone," he said.
While at the reunion, Martin remarked on how much her niece looks like one of her sisters.
"I looked at her (Teresa) and she was leaning over the railing at the hotel when I came in. I was on the first floor and she was on the balcony and I said 'You look just like your aunt June,'" Martin said. Apparently, Teresa also has a very similar personality and opinions as June.
The siblings came together again June 5, 2017, to visit Charles Wolf's grave in Weyauwega and travel to Martin's home in Pelican Lake.
"Everything has sort of come full-circle and to completion and we're part of the Wolf family now and part of each other," Eugene said. "I've always been an only child so I don't know the ups and downs of siblinghood except I'm learning."
The three siblings, along with Andrew's wife and son, enjoyed quality family time at Martin's cottage
"It's really been wonderful getting to know your sibling that you didn't know," Teresa said.
"Yeah, it's terrific," Eugene chimed in.
"It was good to see everybody," Martin said. "I loved it. It has been the greatest experience that I've had. I've had such a good time this week and we've joked and laughed and cried. They have the same sense of humor that our family had and some of the things that they say I can hear my brothers talking."
"The other thing we all have in common with our father is we all love music," Zavala adding, noting that she enjoys singing. "Teresa has a beautiful voice and her pitch is perfect," Eugene said.
Andrew added that Teresa knows most of the songs from the '60s and '70s.
"And what she doesn't know I pick up on," Eugene said.
"Or he will throw in his own words," Andrew said, without missing a beat.
Eugene has a band called Brother Boys that has been together for 30 years. They perform Americana, old country and new hillbilly.
Martin told Andrew that he has his father's smile.
"My brother, Charles, was a charmer, all the women loved Charles," she said, adding that Charles Wolf looked like Chuck Connors.
"With hazel eyes, which Andrew and Teresa have and I don't," Eugene chimed in with a grin.
Martin had photographs for everyone to look at, although she had previously sent many copies to Eugene who distributed them to the other siblings.
"She has the best memory of anyone I've ever seen - because she was a newspaper woman (Martin is a former editor of the Rhinelander Daily News) and details are important - so it's been really wonderful to hear exactly these stories," Eugene said.
"It's the best part," Andrew added.
It has been non-stop excitement for everyone.
"I haven't had a single moment of not being able to sleep," Martin said, eliciting laughter from everyone.
Reflections
As their time together in the Northwoods came to a close the family reflected on the journey that brought them here and the week they spent catching up.
"It's almost surreal, you know, it's like your whole life you've looked for somebody - not necessarily a sibling - and so when you finally get to meet it's very exciting and a little surreal," Zavala said. "It's been really nice being up here with just aunt Mary and a couple of cousins because last year (in Corwith) was a little overwhelming to have like 40 people and you only had a few hours with them so you didn't get to know them very well."
Although the group has known each another for just a year, the familial bonds are tight.
"To me it was like we've known each other 30 years and we've never not really known each other," Andrew said, as his siblings nodded in agreement.
Martin is touched by how well the siblings get along and is fully aware how different the encounter could have been.
"It's such an emotional thing that all three of you love one another," she said. "It could have been a very different experience."
"The best part of this though is being able to find the only sibling of our father still living and spending time with her as well because we've really enjoyed it," Andrew interjected.
After hearing Martin's stories of their father, the siblings said they feel like they know him better. All agreed that they likely would not have come together without the internet.
"I think everything happens in its time," Zavala said.
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